Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
These tits shall not be calmed
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
