finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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