I cockslap morals
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
