He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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