wat bout pragnant strippers??
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
