I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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