maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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