I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
