Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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