I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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