Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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