Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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