is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
