my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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