can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
