She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
