I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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