I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Two words: blizzard sex
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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