Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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