Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
