so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
