Fine. I'll sleep in my office
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
