when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
