if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
