Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
