it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
