so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
