is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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