I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
