I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
