I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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