She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize