I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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