it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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