the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's never too late to be topless.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
