and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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