Who did Billy Mays play for?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
