So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
