Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
