I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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