whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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