Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
