im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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