Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
