I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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