Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
