he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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