are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
