it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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