the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
