Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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