You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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