Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
