Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
