can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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