I don't think brook has ever known best
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
